Tips for Living Comfortably Homeless in Hawaii
Let’s cut to the chase, being homeless sucks. You have just left college and, somehow despite your first class honors degree in Tibetan Poetry or the Lost Art of Puppetry, you aren’t getting snapped up by employers across the globe. You can’t go crawling back to your parent’s house.
What next?
How about dressing in a pin stripe suit, heading to the bank, begging a thousand bucks, booking a flight to Hawaii and hitting the Aloha State.
Let’s face it, if you are going to be down and destitute anywhere, then you may as well be poverty stricken in a spot that is soaked in sunlight, awash with surf and where you can pull pineapples out of the ground.
Being in Hawaii on a budget is sure as heck going to be way more comfortable then living in a Walmart parking lot somewhere in snow-laden Minnesota…or on your buddy Dean’s sofa. The Dean who likes to stay up all night, smoking bongs and talking Illuminati conspiracies…
Fortunately for you, we have a few ideas to throw down on how you can live comfortably in Hawaii, even if you don’t have a dime to your name or four walls to call your own…
Getting Cheap Flights
Getting there is half the battle, and as we are yet to develop wings and time machines (PS please hurry up evolution), stashing yourself on a plane is the only way to get to the islands.
In the modern world, being a stowaway is likely to end you up in prison and on the terrorist watch-list.
Time to dig deep in those pockets.
The best way to score cheap flights to Hawaii is to embrace full flexibility. Hey, you are reading a guide about how to be happily homeless in Hawaii, don’t tell us you are on a tight schedule. The more flexible you are with dates and departure airport, the kinder the ticket prices will be to you.
Sure, you can fly out of the butthole of Missouri in a thunderstorm at 4am, that’s no problem. It will take you 30 million hours and a billion changes to get there? Again, no problem.
Also, make sure that you don’t fly in the peak of the high season. Even if you have been dreaming of embracing your new life on Christmas day, you won’t be alone. Pick the time when no one else wants to go to Hawaii and you are more likely to bag a bargain.
Choose Kauai for the feral chickens
Yep, you definitely read that title right. The gorgeous gauzy and dreamy green garden island of Kauai is actually the home of thousands of wild chickens running amuck.
So many questions…the most important being why?
You will be picking your way through chickens at every turn. They chill in parking lot, they hang at the beach, they congregate in thick forests and they peck happily around random backyards.
One explanation is that a major hurricane, back in the 80’s, blew the coops open and these birds bolted for a taste of freedom.
Whatever the reason, its awesome news for you. All you need to do is sharpen up a spear, don a loincloth, let out a yell and go for it, Lord of the Flies style.
If spearing a chicken isn’t quite your thing, then you can always gather the fallen eggs.
Wash under waterfalls in Oahu
Living in the sun, sleeping in the jungle and getting yourself covered in chicken blood doesn’t make for a swoon-worthy smell.
Fortunately, Hawaii is brimming with beautiful scenic waterfalls and wild swimming holes. The Maunawili Falls over on Oahu may be a three-mile trek, but once you get there you can jump off the top and into a dazzlingly cool and refreshing pool. Another bonus is that this is one of the free things to do in Oahu, too.
Sure, there may be scores of tourists, but you can always pretend to be taking selfies and bucket-listing rather that scrubbing your armpits. No one will ever know…
Cloth House is All You Need in Maui
Now that you are clean and fed, you probably need some place to lay your head.
Hawaii is overflowing with luxurious resorts, beautiful villas and millionaire homes. But, bah, in the immortal words of some nameless hippy at Woodstock – a cloth house is all you need, when you got love.
Or, without the love, a cloth house is all you need, when you got brass buttons in your pocket. Just try not to replicate any of these camping fails…
Wild camping in Hawaii is not necessarily legal, but then again not illegal, either. Make sure that you source a tent that is jungle green, rather than florescent yellow, to fit into the landscape. Or, scrap the tent. Sure, it’s nice to keep those paradise showers off your head. But, maybe just the soft sand will do or the shade of a coconut tree.
If you fancy climbing far from the reach of tourists, then head into the clouds of Haleakala National Park on Maui or hit the goat trodden wild and wonderful forests of Hanakoa on Kauai.
Free Fun on the Big Island
After a good night’s sleep on the sand, you may feel up for a touch of entertainment, never mind that you forgot about the tide coming in and woke up to a surge of whitewater smashing you in the face, it’s just natures alarm clock, anyway.
While surf lessons, zip lining, spa treatments and other such rambunctious fun will make you shell out (see what we did there?) a small fortune, there is still plenty of fun to be had without spending a dime.
There are loads of fun things to do for free on the Big Island. You can explore the picture perfect sights of Ka Lae, Akaka Falls, and the Kalapana Lava Pits. FYI the latter may come in useful when you feel the need to warm up from life in the great outdoors.
Head to the Kona side of the island and enjoy a free tour from the Greenwell Farm. You may have to feign interest in coffee production, but you do get a free tasting at the end.
Of course, we aren’t actually advocating fresh college grads actually flee from the comfort of their parents’ home to rough it in Hawaii – hell, this isn’t Haight Ashbury, this isn’t 1967 and we aren’t the Manson family. But, for those who want to come and take a little walk on the wild side, this is how you live island life without the price tag.
The post Tips for Living Comfortably Homeless in Hawaii appeared first on Live Your Aloha Hawaii Tours & Activities.
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